McDonalds vs. Starbucks

This little rant came as a result of hearing some years back that McDonalds was looking to compete with Starbucks. I had noticed a changing trend in their commercials. And when I heard of this latest move, it compelled me to write the following "rant";

I've recently heard that Starbucks saw McDonalds as a competitor. A competitor? When did this happen? How are they related? McDonalds is a fast food restaurant. Starbucks is a coffee shop. How are they competitors? Coffee is a beverage adults drink. McDonalds is a place children go to get foodish substances. McDonald's cousin is Chuck E. Cheese.

No, not anymore. McDonalds is going through some weird twisted reinvention of itself and the public is gullible enough to buy into it. What do we see in the commercials now? Grimace? No! They have downsized. Grimace has been layed-off. I recently ran into him not far from Times Square begging for money. The commercials now have young hip businessmen. Well, that's the image we're supposed to buy into. Needless to say, if you're anywhere near a McDonalds Playland, you are not even in the same state as "hip". But I digress. McDonalds, lest we forget, has a clown as a mascot. Red hair, red nose, big red shoes. Ladies and gentlemen, it was and still is a place to take children.

But sadly, the public is easily swayed by commercials. Look at the "Got Milk" phenomenon. Take a grammatically incorrect phrase, marry it to celebrities who do not possess the manners to use a napkin, and you've got a cultural plague that shows no signs of going away. "Got Vexation?" The public eats (or in this case; drinks) it up. All you need is a commercial or two to sway the callow public. Books were even sold with the likeness of celebrities sporting milk mustaches. One word: Gross.

Farmer and baby goat at drive through windowSo it goes with McDonalds. No it's not Mickey D's. That name came out of a board meeting of 60-80 year old McCEOs, trying to pander to the "Cool and trend-setting demographics". Out went Mayor McCheese, The Hamburgler, Grimace and the rest. The clown still generates cash by appearing at McBirthday parties and McWeddings. He's still an asset. But a much less visible one.

I say revolt! If you are without children, do not buy into the propaganda. Remind them of who they are. Bring back Grimace and the rest of the gang. Insist on undoing this horrible identity crisis they're having. So many children cry themselves at night knowing they'll never see the likes of Mayor McCheese and the rest of the McDonalds' gang ever again.

I don't have a personal vendetta against McDonalds (although people who know me would beg to differ). I've just developed taste buds through the years. And I find it so annoying to see the shallow transparent angle the commercials take in their effort to "redefine" the McDonalds brand. Well I ain't buying it! And you shouldn't either. And If I have a glass of milk, I'm using a napkin.

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